Willower defined

Words of Hope

“Hope” is the thing with feathers

To the nines

“Form is exactly emptiness, emptiness exactly form.” Buddhist “Heart of Perfect Wisdom Sutra” Sam, It is the year of the Monkey, the ninth of twelve animals in the Chinese zodiac cycle. And, the ninth year of living without you—and your monkey-hugs.

Tightrope Walkers

tight·rope (tītʹrōp´) noun 1. A tightly stretched rope, usually of wire, on which acrobats perform high above the ground. 2. An extremely precarious course or situation.  “I am always at the beginning,” said The Buddha, on being asked what life was like. Hello 2015. Here we are: at the beginning again. Accidental acrobats. On this tightrope twined…

“Wanna see a picture of my baby that died?” she said.

Life had different plans The day before yesterday (Thursday, May 1, 2014), I had plans to hit the month running, or at least walking. Post the first entry in the new series I’ve been working on. And then meditate—for at least ten minutes (a day)—a personal goal I’ve set for this May. Neither happened though. This day, life had different plans in…

The shadows beside me

  While we (bereaved parents) are readjusting to our perception of what grief is, and who we are as we grieve, and how our relationship with our deceased child will be, grief changes and evolves, subsides and resurfaces. 

Poem #14: “Two”

Tufts of hair,
Freckled noses,
Full cheeks
Below thick dark lashes
Body motions
Residue and remnants 

I have two sons
One in this world and
One in that world
Two pirates
Two feathers in my pocket
To shape my heart with

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We use the words widow, widower, and orphan, but there is no word in our vocabulary that identifies the bereaved parent.

So I’ve coined the term willower.

will·ow·er (wĭlʹō-ər) noun

a. A bereaved parent.  b. A person whose child, or children, has died. c. A person that willows, or grieves the death of their child, or children: Each willower processes grief in his or her own way, in his or her own time.

[From the words willow, a weeping tree that has come to symbolize deep mourning, and power, the strength of will to carry on—despite loss.]

On Keeping Belongings

On Keeping Belongings – The 10th Anniversary of Gili’s Death. By Henya Shanun-Klein, Ph.D. If you ask a bereaved parent: “What would you have saved first (assuming that there were no people nor animals in the house) if your house was caught on fire?” My guess is that the parent’s response would be: “I’d try…

A Parental Bereavement Model

Read more about the Readjustment Model of Parental Bereavement.