This morning

Sam would be twenty-two today. Every morning, I wake up to ‘reality’ and shake my head. But there’s something heavier about milestones, anniversaries, and birthdays — the rudest awakenings — that make it harder to face the day. So when I open my eyes and notice the time, 5:51 a.m., the moment Sam was born, I know he is nudging me to wake up and keep going.


“Mommy, are you awake?”

I notice the time glowing on my nightstand, 5:51 a.m.

I am. I’m awake.”

“Come outside. Look at the moon.” 

“I’m coming, Sammy. Wait for me.” 

In the distance, an owl is calling. I hurry outside to sit with him until the sun rises and he flies away again.

“Happy Birthday, my sweet boy.”


By Deanna

Rewriting life after the loss of a child.

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